I always say I'm gonna' start using this blog again, and then I tend to forget about it or life gets busy and I just stop posting for a long time. So I won't even make a guarantee I'm gonna' start regularly posting. I'm just hoping to. I've realized I like having a quick and easy way to look back at my life in the last while. It helps me see how I'm doing and how far I've come.
What I post will be personal stuff, me rambling, maybe stuff about boys sometimes (I really can't help that I'm a teenage girl, okay?), writing if I feel like putting it on here, or whatever else I just happen to want to put up in a place where I'll feel safe and not judged posting it. Mind you, I feel like before I stopped using this for a while I gave the URL to some people I'll just hope have forgotten about it.
Life recently? Trying to focus it on God. I do a regular daily Bible study (blogged at http://theeternalpath.blogspot.com), I'm attending a weekly study on the book of James, and I'm also undertaking Beth Moore's study on Daniel.
Boys are as confusing as ever. I'm really just beginning to think I honestly won't find who I'm meant for for a while yet. Or if I've found them, then not realize it for a while. I don't know. I still find myself being shocked to find I have feelings for people, because I'm trying really hard not to. It just sort of seems, though, that I've lost the off switch for the "romantic feelings" section of my heart...
Also, well, I'm trying to figure out a lot about the future. University, money for a car to commute, job in future, etc. Right now, well, I'm no even fairly certain jobwise. Honestly, I'm thinking of a pastor... I know not all denominations are cool with that, but some are. Plus, I'm still trying to figure out where God's pointing me. Other idea that's up there is Christian Psychologist. I realized, though, you're not supposed to get attached to patients, and I get easily attached. I doubt I could just sit there expressionless as they sat and cried their hearts out.
So, I'm really just uncertain of the future. I'm also putting it off. I like focusing on day-to-day things, as if leaving the future alone will mean it will sort itself out. It's silly of me, but it's what I fall back to none-the-less.
I guess what I'm saying is, I'm trying. I'm trying to just be who God's planned for me to. It's hard, though, to hear His voice sometimes, even when you're listening. Sometimes He also just tells us to wait, too, in which case even if we listen He won't speak. So I'm just taking things a day at a time. The future is always in mind, but my priority is my relationship with God. The closer I am to Him, the farther I feel from everything else, but the more everything else falls into place.
So, that's my 3am spiel for the moment. Now I should be getting some sleep, though... So goodnight and God bless to anyone reading this!
God's timing is not always our timing. I have come to realize that His timing is always perfect.
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